


Hey Madam Director (Let Me Whisper in Ya Ear)

by renquise



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-24
Updated: 2016-12-24
Packaged: 2018-09-11 19:39:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9008185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/renquise/pseuds/renquise
Summary: Killian and Carey are experts at seduction.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Margo_Kim](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Margo_Kim/gifts).



> Very short and very ridiculous, but oh man, your prompt for Killian and Carey seducing the Director was TOO GOOD. Happy yuletide!

“So. Here’s the battle plan. We breach here. Slice the pie.” 

Killian moves the rubber duck into position on the table.

“Wait, are you the rubber duck or am I?” Carey asks.

“I’m the rubber duck. You’re the cool dagger.”

“Aw, babe, that’s sweet.”

“Lucretia is the gatchapon token, and the takeout menu is her office.” Killian pauses. This whole seducing-Lucretia thing seemed a lot simpler before they tried actually making a plan for it. “Okay, I think what we need is a good pickup line. Something just cheesy enough that she’ll make that face where she’s like, I am Dignified But Also Not Above Being Entertained By Your Really Really Really Awful Pun.”

“I love that face.”

Killian nods thoughtfully. “It’s a pretty good face.”

They both mull over this strategy.

“I don’t know, I’m pretty terrible at pickup lines,” Carey says. “Remember when I tried asking you out for the first time? I was like, hey, Killian, you’re killian-ing me with how good your biceps look in that new leather chestplate. And also the way you are killian-ing those bad dudes. That too.”

“Well. I mean, honestly, it was the most romantic thing I’d ever heard. And then you did a really cool backflip to kick someone in the face, too. How can a girl resist?” 

Carey covers her face, her tail curling up in mortification. Killian dies a little of how cute her girlfriend is. “I did that because I was convinced I’d made an idiot of myself, okay!”

“It did work, though.”

“Maybe Lucretia likes backflips.”

“Maybe.”

They both ponder this. Carey sighs and flops over into Killian’s lap. 

“Orrrrrrrr. We could just be like. Hey ma'am. Killian and I have a question for you. How do you feel about happy hour at the Chug ‘n Squeeze and smooches. And then you flex at her seductively.”

Killian considers this. As far as plans go, especially the ones she’s heard recently, it could be much, much worse.

They high-five.

\--

Lucretia, it turns out, is terrible at pottery, but great at drinking wine, and also pretty good at smooches.


End file.
